Yea, I know. That was this morning.

I'm quite happy to be home.

I finally got off of jury duty after an exasperating day at the courthouse. I was juror #6 for hours until someone noticed my bored body-language and I got excused at the eleventh hour. I had stomach cramps for 2 days from the stress.

I went to Marie Antoinette yesterday after several days of playing with Barbie and Susan. I loved the movie, can't wait to buy the soundtrack, and drooled over the horses. It's getting mixed reviews, but I give it a thumbs up. Marie was 14 years old when she was sent off to France to marry one of those Louis'!

Uh oh. Dark chocolate and white chocolate have joined the family along with the Megas.

Yesterday I drove 700 miles. I had to get back up to the US of A due to a Jury Duty summons. Living almost full time in Mexico didn't get me a free pass to ignore my obligations if I still wanted to vote, since I do have a house on the Otro Lado (other side.) So I drove forever and had plenty of time to think. At the US border my line was very slow due to someone ahead of me trying to smuggle in drugs. Out came the German Shepards and many officials. Within moments the dog found a huge bag filled to the brim with something meth or coke related, I guess. That's all I saw as I finally got through. Duh. Looks like someone forgot to mention that wheelwells don't make good hiding places anymore. Silly people. I have even seen the border guards check tire pressure in case someone is smart/dumb enough to stash their stash inside the tires.
Ok. Now, this morning I was starving since my larder in my almost abandoned house is empty. So off I went to a huge breakfast. Sitting alone in a restaurant isn't so bad, but being a woman alone in a Southern California restaurant with a large plate of food that is being enjoyed is very foreign. The clichés are so true. But let me tell you what I was really thinking about. The facial surgery. As I waddle back to my car with too much flesh under my chin and a full belly, I notice complexions pure as snow on sculpted cheek bones. And, I wondered if they had come down to Mexico for the cheap medical care.

50 Things About Me That You Never Wanted To Know

1. I have flown from California to Egypt without a husband or sister to lead me
2. I have jumped a horse over a three foot fence, bareback, and with hands in the air
3. I have ridden a horse in a parade
4. I have waterskied on lakes on both sides of the country
5. I have helped hatch loggerhead turtles
6. I have jogged in Central Park
7. I have run in a handful of 10k's
8. I have eaten loquats up in the tree
9. I have ridden my bike without hands
10. I have had my appendex out after it ruptured
11. I have driven through the desert without air conditioning in 120 degrees
12. I have lived with both a horse and a pony
13. I have ridden that pony like a little mountain goat up and down hills
14. I have body surfed for hours
15. I have ridden the commuter train up to San Francisco
16. I have been to the Kentucky Derby
17. I have ridden a bus under the Suez Canal
18. I have driven across the country many times
19. I have been on a ferry
20. I have gambled in Las Vegas
21. I have parted my hair on the left side my whole life
22. I have ridden a camel out past the pyramids of Giza
23. I have french braided my daughter's hair
24. I have snorkeled in the Red Sea
25. I have eaten lunch in the space needle
26. I have held my mother's hand while she died
27. I have cried over the loss of her for over 17 years
28. I have helped a cat give birth
29. I have drank beer in the Hofbrau Haus in Munich
30. I have cross country skied
31. I have been to Yosemite
32. I have become allergic to shrimp
33. I have seen Niagra Falls
34. I have been backstage at a Grateful Dead's concert
35. I have killed a rattlesnake
36. I have eaten grapefruit right off the tree
37. I have seen Old Faithful
38. I have had a Compuserve account
39. I have seen Elizabeth Taylor in person
40. I have always considered spaghetti to be my favority all time food
41. I have been to the very spot where Caesar was killed
42. I have cried at my daughter's wedding
43. I have cooked chili the same way for 40 years
44. I have taken my niece on a trip as her graduation present
45. I have drag raced on a street with my Nissan Maxima wagon and won
46. I have smoked dope in Amsterdam
47. I have laughed so hard I cried with my friends
48. I have studied Chemistry
49. I have played cello duets with my Aunt
50. I have been to Luxembourg

If you beg me to I might come up with 50 more trival pursuits.

Taking Temperatures

I just hung up a new thermometer. It will tell me just how happy or unhappy I am.

My neighbors arrived back from a 4 month leave to their other home in California. In their absence I fed their darling little wild cat every morning. Lupita considered me a decent substitute for her adopted people and we became fast friends. If it was too hot, I made sure the food bowl was put in the shade so she could eat in relative comfort. During our several hurricanes she found a dry spot somewhere while I had to ford the streams running down our street to go check on her. Both cat and food made out fine. She let me pick her up and expected it everyday, rubbing my legs until I would bend down and scoop her onto my shoulder. I went over to her house this morning to return the gate opener, and there she was talking to me about how her other humans had returned.

So her humans came back bearing gifts of thanks for tending their little girl. And now I can tell just how deeply I can suck in air. This morning I have the Air Conditioner off and doors open to the sea. The salt air and the lapping waves are some of my very best friends. The wonderful salty/low tide smell must have been what I drew in on my very first breath on earth. There is truly something wonderful in my old primal brain that happens when I get it.

My horoscope for today:

Normally your motto is 'Instant gratification takes too long,' but the stars send a mellowing influence your way. Now you're asking yourself, what's the rush? Right on! Enjoy this placid, peaceful energy.

Me? In a hurry? Not today.

It's an epidemic. I can't even imagine what this is that is happening to our grown-ups. Maybe it's an exponential multiplier starting with the few back in oh 1920, or so, and growing out of anyone's unbelievable imaginations. Naturally it has always been such a hush-hush subject. Uncle Jack and his roving hand. The priests and their so-called celibacy.

I suppose most girls/women I know have had at a bare minimum an odd breast brush by an old man just like he didn't mean to. Or maybe a quick kiss that wasn't expected. Little girls and old men. Or little boys and old men. Guess what, old men! It's disgusting. It's not appreciated or enjoyed and causes scars in the children. The actual fondling and having intercourse with little kids is not only scaring that never heals totally but also causes revoltion at the memory for the rest of their lives.

Has it always been this bad?